Wednesday, November 23, 2011

"A writer doesn’t write with his mind, he writes with his hands" –Madeleine L’Engle, ‘A Circle of Quiet’

I have been challenged and inspired by my recent fellow writers. I am plunging myself into a new project: completing my children's story that I began writing circa 2007 via blog. I will publish serially, following in the footsteps of my good friends Kayla Hambek and Charles Dickens. Chapter 1 here we go:

Chapter 1: Henry

Henry had tumbled out of bed rather late in the morning, but as it was Saturday his mother was not wont to scold. His skinny knees stuck out from the bedcovers as a luxurious yawn revealed a rectangular gap where his two front teeth should have been. He was the last in his class to start losing his baby teeth. He brushed his tousled, carrot-red hair off his forehead – a rather pointless gesture as the hair merely wisped back into his eyes – and scratched his head in an attempt to massage his brain awake. But before he could settle his thoughts, the smoky aroma of bacon invaded his freckled nose.

Henry lives on a small street with a few houses all rather alike with a kitchen, living room, a dining room, three bedrooms and one and a half bath (why you would want half a bathtub I’ll never know). Attached to the house is a two door garage, each door entirely too small for the monstrous sized cars that therefore thoughtfully improve the scenery as they bask in their cement driveways. In one of these houses, a tastefully tan one with brown trim, and a lime-green car basking in the driveway, sat Henry.

Now as all you very well know, the smell of bacon is rather irresistible in the morning so you know what follows. So I think I’ll let Henry wander down to breakfast while we consider more interesting things. I doubt you have yet to see anything remarkable about Henry, except that he has a shock of red hair and charming freckles. But unless you have quite the imagination you might not have realized how incredibly red it was, and how it makes his green eyes seem to glow like a cat, and his cream-tipped ears stick out like little marshmallows in a camp fire; in fact, you might have already forgotten he had red hair. Well, no matter. But I hope you’ll be more careful about such things in the future.

But the real reason I want to tell you about Henry is that he has a fascinating fascination. He is obsessed with light. Yes, “ordinary” light. Like the light you are probably reading by now. To everyone else a light means nothing special, but to Henry light is a world of mystery. A world to be imagined and explored. A world to cherish, even when others say “It’s only a light.

But in the meantime I think Henry is about finished with breakfast and we should probably head down his way.

Henry sat at the table surrounded by the remains of his massacred breakfast. Crumbs of toast outlined his plate and cup like brown dust, and bits of egg mysteriously floated in his glass of water. Henry sat alone, Mr. Fenwick had to get up early for work – even on Saturdays – and Mrs. Fenwick was busy cleaning in the kitchen. He had no brothers and sisters, which sometimes made his life rather dull. And his mother was adamant about having no TV for she said it would turn Henry’s brain to mush, and I must say I agree; therefore, Henry had himself and his brain. And perhaps that is why Henry has become so interesting in the first place.

Before bounding away to mental adventures, Henry carefully cleaned the table best he could and carried his dishes to the kitchen.

That being done, and the embarrassing hugs and kisses from his mother, Henry raced to his bedroom, covered his head with the blanket, and flicked his flashlight on, then off, then on, watching it intently and seeming to…listen?

Henry once asked Mr. Fenwick how lights really work. Mr. Fenwick was a very smart man and worked in a science lab where they wore white coats and goggles, mixed chemicals, and made things spark. Henry found it all very exciting, and couldn’t understand why when he asked his dad about his work it all sounded very complicated and well…a little boring. So Henry wasn’t surprised that when he asked about light Mr. Fenwick began to talk a long time about long words Henry didn’t know. Henry had a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Fenwick didn’t always know what he was talking about and made up really long words so Henry wouldn’t notice, but Henry would never say that out loud.

Henry, therefore, decided he best take the mystery of light into his own hands, and he spent a great deal of his free time doing so. He did other things of course; he went to school, avoided the school bullies, avoided answering questions in class, avoided the cold, stuck together lump of macaroni and cheese they served at lunch, but when alone--which was any time outside of school--you could be sure he was thinking about the light.

So here he sat under his covers, trying to watch where the light came from that suddenly lit up his flashlight when he flipped the switch. He flicked off the flashlight and stared hard through the gloom. Did it work like a telephone and call out to something, or someone? He closed his eyes so he could concentrate on his ears and flicked it on again. He heard something.



Friday, July 3, 2009

Iran

I am constantly amazed by how much control foreign governments wield over the freedom of speech and freedom to protest of their citizens.  So many political prisoners are detained unfairly for years, lifetimes even, with families having nowhere to turn and no information. For instance, I just read of Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma who has been under house arrest beginning in 1989; however, she is a high profile case and there are so many who are taken from their families without warning and never heard of again. 

In Iran, the crackdown on political protest and the media is shocking.  Since foreign media and even Iranian media have been banned and thrown out the country, we are relying on citizens emailing foreign media and recording events on their cellular phones.  One woman who had been a correspondent with BBC news recently sent an email stating she had been fired from her job because they had searched her computer and found the emails she had been sending so she could no longer provide information.  Apparently the government is now showing commercials advertising a hotline for people to call when they suspect someone of bad political activity.  One commercial features a young women who fears her brother is keeping "bad company" she calls the hotline and her brother is followed and arrested.  The 1984 parallel is a little freaky.  I am inspired by the citizens' resilience, both in Iran and in China where people are fighting to get around the internet blockades.  It reminds me that people, even young people, can do something when they work together and work with passion.  It also reminds me that revolutions are still very alive and real today. 

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Charming Shops

Where Small is Beautiful and Bountiful

I cannot help it, I am charmed by small shops.  I love the idea of a shopkeeper who knows your name, your family, greets you when you come in, and knows what you want.  I enjoy the thought of just going in the store to chat.  Granted, you lose the anonymity of our stores today where you can enter virtually invisible, demand expert service [or complain to higher authorities], and treat the cashiers as if they don't really exist.  In all seriousness though, relationships are messier than "business."  You have to give things up.  Merely consider the small town with no privacy, or even a family.  Yet isn't life about relationship, as messy and uncomfortable as they sometimes are?

This being said, I was very happy to read that in India small shopkeepers are holding out against large retail stores.  In fact, retail stores that were recently introduced into Indian markets have had to close down because customers are loyal to the shops they have frequented all their life.  "Here the shopkeeper is the friendly confidante, counsellor and even family, for some. He understands the local tastes and customizes the products on offer."  If I were ever to enter into business, this is how I would want to do it--to meet a need and to offer my friendship in the process.  

I love vitality mixed with imperfection.  Here "the sounds, the colours and the smells, along with the chaos, are an integral part of the shopping trip." Doesn't it sound like a beautiful and lively day out?  I know, and am frequently reminded, that there is something to be said for organization, but I think there is also something to be said for organic spirit.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

To Give

I once heard a very wise man ask: "If I were to give you $500 and you gave $100 away how much would you have?"  The person quickly answered $400.  "Wrong," he said, "You would have $100, because someone could always come and take away the $400 in your hand, but noone can ever take away the $100 you gave of your own free will."  

I have been thinking about that story today.  As I delve deeper into my career in the arts I find more and more things that excite me.   I find great joy whenever I am able to create something. During my costuming job this summer discovered a love of fabric and antique stores. And soon I shall be traveling abroad and studying literature--and hopefully growing a lot.  I imagine my life in the future full of theater, full of art.  I even imagined today how I will decorate my house with pottery, plants, fabric, my art projects...But I realized none of this was truly fulfilling for me.  When I imagine my life in the future with my artistic talents fully developed and displayed around me, it seems quirky and exciting, but somehow empty.  What would my life mean? The only thing I can really own is what I give to others.  Transforming lives by listening to the stories around me.  Or transforming lives by creating art that speaks for those around me, helping them to see inside themselves, or to see outside themselves.   I never really own a piece of art until I give it away.  I never am skilled in my art until it is used to touch someone's heart. 
I can try to fulfill myself with creating, but I will never be fulfilled until I create for others.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Another Plane Down

Plane Crash

Imagine if you were a 14 year old girl traveling with your mother to Comoros.  Only imagine your plane never lands.  Imagine of 153 people, you are the only survivor.   Imagine being found in the choppy waters amid bodies and wreckage.  

I wonder what your life is like now.  How do you function in the world after that tragedy?  As they pulled her up they said   "She was shaking, shaking. We put four sheets on her. We gave her hot, sugary water...We are trying to warm her up because she was freezing."  Freezing--I'm sure--but we can shake from more than cold.  I can't imagine what it would be like to tremble from absolute horror.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Weapons of Mass Creation

I recently read about yet another dispute over nuclear weapons.  I was surprised to read in the article that countries argue weapons of mass destruction are necessary for their sovereignty.  In order to be in the big leagues you need to have a big gun.  It made me think.  The sign of advancement is the ability to destroy.  But if we all unleashed our ability to destroy where would we be?  Where does destruction get us?  Yet we've set up this system of holding guns to one another's head, and the first one without a gun is declared the victim.  

What about creation?  We think we are so big and powerful because we can destroy something, but wouldn't it make more sense to be judged on what we can create--what we can add to this world--how we can improve our lives?  What if we unleashed the same amount of power in creation as we do in destruction--weapons of mass creation.  That would impress me.  But we can't, we don't even try because we're busy to stay on top so we don't get killed.  

I am reminded of J.R.R. Tolkien.  In one of his books discussing the origins of Middle Earth he described some dark gods who were unable to create.  So in their jealousy they kidnapped some of the elves and tortured them until they became twisted orcs.  They could create no new beings themselves, only twist those that already exist.  Isn't that what we do?  We cannot create more earth we only take it away.  And this is being sovereign?  This is being a world power?

When my youngest nephew plays with building blocks he becomes frustrated because his skills are not fine tuned enough to build a tower--so instead he takes delight in knocking everyone else's down.  So the only conclusion I can see is that becoming a sovereign nation requires unveiling your infancy.  

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Faces of the Favelas


This project by the French artist JR really inspired me.  In Rio de Janeiro, he took photographs of Brazilians living in shanty towns called favelas and pasted their pictures on the sides of their houses, their eyes facing the city.  He said he did this so that the people in the city looking up at the favelas would not just see the cheap houses but the eyes and humanity behind them.  The project originated because JR heard about the controversial death of three street kids.  One of the photographs pasted on a large stair the mother of one of these boys.  The black and white photographs present haunting large eyes and weathered, care-worn faces.  They are both beautiful and confronting.  His project has now grown and a display has been put into, and on, a large art museum in Rio de Janeiro.  The woman whose picture is on the front of the museum said she grew up and still lives in a favela and that she and her children have never been able to come to this museum before.  But now intermingled together are those from the city and from the favelas.  And now, too, an arch in the city, which JR describes as Rio de Janeiro's Eiffel Tower, is covered in photographs of women's faces.  He reflected on what a powerful symbol the arch being held up by these women was.  

I am captivated by this artist's ability to make a difference by simply following his craft and vision. All he has really done is paste a few photographs, and yet he has caused confrontation, communication, and perhaps the beginnings of reconciliation and rebuilding among people groups. He has forced the city to see these people's faces.  He has given these women a voice and dignity. He has listened and declared worthiness on their stories.  

Listening.  How would the world be changed if we would all listen--listen with undivided attention to one another?  I was in a workshop exploring ensemble with Dipankar this weekend and one exercise he had us perform was about listening.  He divided us into pairs and had person A think of something very close to their hearts and share it with the person B.  He then told person B that they didn't give a damn about what that person was telling them.  Thus, we ran about the room trying desperately to get the other person to listen to us.  We then switched roles and repeated the exercise.  Afterwards, we both sat facing each other and he told us to listen to one another as we had never listened before--no affirmation, no questions, simply listening.  In sharing afterward people said that when they were not listened to they became angry, disheartened, and that they actually disconnected with the thing they were trying to share--it no longer became about what was close to their heart but it was about screaming to be heard.   But when they were listened to--then they were able to share our hearts, didn't feel the need to impress, felt able to pause and say what they really meant.  They felt valued--and our sense of connection with one another grew simply because we felt heard. 

I heard things in that workshop that I had no idea were there or that I needed to hear.  He asked us why we were there today.  A very simple question--one I thought was pretty straight forward.  These are all people I know very well so I thought the question was mainly for Dipankar's sake.  But then people shared things from their heart that really shook me about what this group meant to them and about their journeys in life.  How easily we look past the simple empowerment of inviting people to be heard.

I believe that the more stories we hear the more human we become and the more possibility is awakened for us in our life.  "Stories entangle in words and rhythms the power of the original experiences, making possible the release of that power whenever the words are spoken once more" [Dan Taylor Tell Me a Story].  The more stories we allow into our lives, the more empowered we are.

And what truly is what we believe and live by every day but story?  I was thinking today about the news.  I try to read the news now every morning--and some of our only news about troubled countries comes from blogs that journalists write on when they can.  There is no definitive news.  There is only story.  Then I look at the health and environment section. Science is so variable and changing--it is based on experiment, on observation, on experience, and it tells a story of how to see the world--a narrative that will be added to and changed.  Scientists take what they see in the world and wrestle to explain it.  (Perhaps the scientist and the artist are not so different.)  Faith is handed down in stories--in oral tradition, in books, in testimonies.  History is the stories we've written about the past (though often I hear it is the story of the victor.)  We live by these stories.  Not to say they are not true, only to say  they are experiences filtered through imperfect, finite human beings and given to us.  And I would perhaps say in many cases they are the richer and better for that.  
["And in all things that live there are certain irregularities and deficiencies which are not only signs of life, but sources of beauty. No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf perfect in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort, and the law of human judgment, Mercy"
-John Ruskin]

Listening to each other's stories intently so rarely happens, though.  In fact one person in our workshop said they felt uncomfortable having someone's undivided attention because they felt so guilty using up the person's time.  But I think that when we do not share our thoughts and stories, our thinking grows inward--and like an inward growing hair or nail it becomes poisonous.  We need others to keep us from losing sight of reality.

I think art is a form of listening. It's slowing down to observe.  I think it was Emerson who once wrote about being a writer and how it is a thankless ambition of slowly gathering one observation after another.  Isn't it said that genius is being able to scrutinize the obvious?  What more is photography but teaching others to see the details you see in the world around you?  What other place do you sit, listen, and watch another person's story with no other distractions than in a theater?  I think the call for me as an artist is to slow down and see, to slow down and listen.