To Give

I once heard a very wise man ask: "If I were to give you $500 and you gave $100 away how much would you have?"  The person quickly answered $400.  "Wrong," he said, "You would have $100, because someone could always come and take away the $400 in your hand, but noone can ever take away the $100 you gave of your own free will."  

I have been thinking about that story today.  As I delve deeper into my career in the arts I find more and more things that excite me.   I find great joy whenever I am able to create something. During my costuming job this summer discovered a love of fabric and antique stores. And soon I shall be traveling abroad and studying literature--and hopefully growing a lot.  I imagine my life in the future full of theater, full of art.  I even imagined today how I will decorate my house with pottery, plants, fabric, my art projects...But I realized none of this was truly fulfilling for me.  When I imagine my life in the future with my artistic talents fully developed and displayed around me, it seems quirky and exciting, but somehow empty.  What would my life mean? The only thing I can really own is what I give to others.  Transforming lives by listening to the stories around me.  Or transforming lives by creating art that speaks for those around me, helping them to see inside themselves, or to see outside themselves.   I never really own a piece of art until I give it away.  I never am skilled in my art until it is used to touch someone's heart. 

I can try to fulfill myself with creating, but I will never be fulfilled until I create for others.